Toughest Job on Oscar Night

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Toughest Job on Oscar Night Award contenders, from a piece in Time magazine: (a) Jennifer Aniston's publicist: Has Jen seen Brangelina's sonogram? Will she attend the shower? Red carpet chatterboxes have many rude questions for this presenter. Wells comment: Those fearless vampire killer questions asked of tabloid victims like Aniston, Brangelina and Tomkat are beyond sickening. (b) Isaac Mizrahi: the grabby E! co-host must keep his hands in his pockets, and off of starlets. Wells comment: More brash tittie feels...go for it, Isaac...make it a lifelong signature thing. (c) Dolly Parton's stylist: O.K., we're not sure she has one, but heck, fitting a gown on this buxom Best Song nominee for Transamerica's Travelin'Thru would be a real achievement. Wells comment: Zzzzzzzz. (d) Host Jon Stewart: Really, will there be any original gay cowboy jokes left by March 5? Wells comment : A Stewart bioographer will one day report that gay cowboy jokes were immediately dismissed when Stewart and his team started working on his monologue...done to death by Leno, Letterman and Nathan Lane. (e) Reese Witherspoon: Acting surprised when she wins Best Actress for Walk the Line will surely require Witherspoon to channel more of that June Carter-style class. Wells comment: There's a belief out there that a Witherspoon upset by Transamerica's Felicity Huffman is possible. Not likely, but it could conceivably happen...maybe.